Those who know me will be aware that I am notoriously slow on the uptake. I get into ‘new’ bands 2 years after their debuts, recount news stories others heard about a week before, watch films 3 years after they’re out on DVD despite promises to go to the cinema on their release...you get the idea. So it should come as no surprise, I suppose, that until last night I was completely ignorant of the ‘extreme fetish’ internet phenomenon that is 2 Girls, 1 Cup.
After what turned out to be many hours chatting to Seth, during a ridiculous conversation about poo, he mentioned 2 Girls, 1 Cup. I wish I hadn’t now, but I asked him what it was. He sent me a link and dropped a hint about the gross nature of it, and a piece of advice – ‘DON’T watch it. If you DO watch it, watch it with someone.’ Now, this wasn’t very encouraging. But after saying goodbye, before removing myself from the internet, I thought I’d just have a little look. And that little look turned into a “well I think I might just watch a bit of it.’ And that was it – I’d never be able to close my eyes again.
I don’t really know how, but I didn’t completely realise just what the film would be. I know it would be something involving shit (the giveaways? Hmmm...the name, the conversation that led Seth to mention it, the illustration of a cup of shit in the corner of the webpage...) but never in the world would I imagine that it could be as horrific as it was.
I just wanna point out at this point, actually, that I haven’t seen the entire clip. I would like to think that no one has. I never got past the 2 girls kissing with huge mouthfuls of shit passing between them. Just typing it has made my stomach churn again. I don’t want to believe that it’s real. I want to cry at the thought of it. I think the most disturbing part, and the bit that haunts me each time I close my eyes, is the bit at the start where the girl does the shit. I mean, I’ve never seen anything like it. The shit she does is like coffee-mousse coming out of a Mr Whippy machine. They must have used laxatives or something, what the hell she must have eaten to make it like that I dunno. I don’t think I really want to know.
Anyway enough of the description cos if you’ve seen it, you know, and if you’ve not then you probably don’t want to know (and if you’ve not seen it I beg you to not watch it. Please.) All I really wanted to say was that I’m finding it very difficult to imagine HOW and WHY 2 Girls, 1 Cup was made. I am an open minded person, and I like to think that I understand fetishes. But this is just one step too far. How anyone can find that erotic is so far beyond me. More to the point, how anyone could agree to be filmed DOING THAT is completely mysterious. How could you DO THAT? And more to the point, isn’t it dangerous to eat and lick someone’s shit?
To conclude, I know there’s not much point to this rant, but I had to write about it in the hope that talking about it would help to clear the images that seem to be burned into the underside of my eyelids. It hasn’t worked so far. And I never ever want to see chocolate pudding, or coffee-mousse, or butterscotch angel delight ever again. 2 Girls, 1 Cup is the most derogatory, horrific, vile and disturbing thing I have ever had the misfortune of seeing. So thank you Seth for making me aware of it.
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Eek. I am on a train home, the one with the late night pastie eating drunks. And the thought of 2 girls 1 cup has combined with the nastie pasty smell to make me feel pretty sick. I have played pass the mouthful of cake with twenty other people, and pass the mouthful of red wine, but this... As you say, WHY???
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